When you buy a new home, you except it to be built with a few minimum standards.

Doors that fit.

Roof doesn’t leak.

Not built on an old, cursed, Indian burial ground.

And now there’s…

Birmingham Mail: Couple find their new home comes with a drive that’s too narrow for their Ford Fiesta

The culprits here are Taylor Wimpey, and it’s exactly the outcome you’d expect if you leave house-building in the hands of a burger bar.

Bender in a bun? Yes.

Getting a driver the right width? Not a chance, but how about a nice bender in a bun?

It’s so bad, they’ve got him posing here like Bez from the Happy Mondays, which is no way to go through life.

Now, I’ve come up with a couple of ideas that could help them out. Ideas which might prevent Mr Bender in a Bun from having to demolish their house and build it a bit narrower so that their car fits.

Idea Number One: They couple in question are clearly of that age where a midlife crisis is looming. So why not just sell the car and buy a couple of motorbikes? They don’t even have to be Harleys.

Idea Number Two: The Steve Wright in the Afternoon Exercise Plan

Radio Two’s Steve Wright in the Afternoon has this exact problem, yet he simply parks with the tailgate open, crawls out through the hole and walks way.

Driving away is the reverse operation.

And if it’s good enough for radio’s Steve Wright in the Afternoon, it’s good enough for anybody.

Idea Number Three: Poo through Mr Wimpey’s letterbox. It’s the only language these curs understand.