Not ten, ELEVEN! (Because that’s how clickbait works, clickbait fans)

1. Fine, but what about the other 999,990?

2. “You lying little git, you said it was real”

3. This rhyme doesn’t work if you live south of Watford.

4. HULK RAGE

5. I have tried this at my kids’ school. It is not.

6. #NotActuallySexySlang

7. But what if the counsellors subsequently need council services? Who does that?

8. COME AND GET WHAT’S COMING TO YOU, YA NUT-GRABBING BASTARDS

9. Health and safety gone mad, on acid.

10. That’s Farmer Jones’s excuse and he’s sticking to it.

11. Amazing what you can do with a time machine and a box of French Ticklers.

[Fact: In France, French Ticklers are just called “Tickleurs”]