If you think donkeys don’t know the difference between a stout British supercar and dinner, then you’re an idiot.

I know my classics (Shrek, Shrek 2 and the Shrek Christmas special) and I know that a) all donkeys sound like Eddie Murphy and b)know a McLaren when they see one.

This story first appeared in German tabloid Bild, and has taken a bit of a life of its own. Mistaking a car for a carrot, I ask ya…

Bild (in German): SPORTWAGEN-BESITZER ERHÄLT SCHADENERSATZ – Esel verwechselt McLaren mit Möhre

The story of a poor German man who drove his vehicle too close to a donkey’s field in the western town of Giessen, only to find the donkey doesn’t particularly like the McLaren 650S Spyder after Jeremy Clarkson gave it a poor review on Top Gear, or something.

Or, let’s try this in English:

Deutsche Welle: Donkey bits a lump out of £260k sports car thinking it was a carrot

So far, so mental. But let’s get down to it. Here’s what DW have to say:

“Markus Zahn was driving his bright orange McLaren 650S Spyder on his way to his doctor when he decided to reverse down a country lane to make a U-turn.

Out of nowhere, Vitus the donkey appeared in Herr Zahn’s rear mirror and bit twice at the back of the vehicle. The donkey – as a witness later told the court – had reached over a fence to get at the vehicle from a nearby field.”

Witnesses, eh?

“Police later said the donkey may have mistaken the orange car for a multidimensional carrot. But the court found no evidence for that claim on Thursday.”

I’d quite like some of the drugs that the German Polizei are taking, please thank you.

The Bild report shows no more than a few (very expensive scratches on the back of Herr Zahn’s McLaren, but the end result is this: 5,800 euros (£5,118) in damages.

That’s a hell of a lot of carrots.