NEVER get on the wrong side of lawn green bowlers.

They may seem a quiet and docile lot, but once they switch to overarm, they take absolutely no prisoners.

And the social nights rival the court of Caligula*

Sunderland Echo: Bowlers rage at council over the poor state of their green

That chap’s medal was given to him by the Queen for using the same bowling green rake for 37 years. It’s had 7 heads and 11 new sticks, but he hasn’t bought a new one since that day in Woolworths in 1980.

“Shite, me back’s gone”

*This is a lie.