This is Johnny Smith of Townsville, Queensland.

Johnny is a bona fide hero, because Johnny’s got a bloody great trident, which he isn’t afraid to use against filthy dags out on the rob.

Queensland Times: Man chases off hapless robbers with long spiky thing, petrol-driven power tools

A man’s home is his castle, in that you sometimes fill it with medieval weaponry. It turns out that this is perfectly legal in Australia, and will even get you a spot on the news when you use it against robbers with little to no hap.

And never have home invaders shown so little hap, as Channel 9 reports:

Channel 9 News: Thieves run for their lives are being confronted by area man with chainsaw

After convincing the would-be dacoits that the trident was very very sharp and not worth the bother, they managed to turn their robbery into high comedy.

“The other fella threw a tyre iron at me, which missed and hit old mate as he was running out the back door.”

The Trident had the desired effect, but only got them part of the way down the road. Time for the heavy artillery.

“Then I started the chain saw up and they bolted really quick after that.”

No arguments. Time to make yourself scarce.

As the T-shirt says: Squad goals.