People these days.

Get a few hundred tiny and possibly fatal spiders on their fruit, and they’re running round in circles and going to the papers.

Back in my day, we’d just sit quietly in a state of venom-induced paralysis until the effects wore off and go back to our daily lives.

Plymouth Herald: Woman encounters possibly deadly banana spider infestation in Lidl

Do you know who should actually die of deadly banana spider infestations?

Minions. Bloody minions.

Brighton Argus: Mum finds out she’s banana phobic

Let’s pin this one on minions as well.