Nominative determinism usually applies to people – you know, times where Dr Arse Rectum gets a job at the bum clinic.

Or Frank Isellcarstowankers is found working at a BMW showroom.

But it’s rare to find a building living up to its name.

Grimsby Telegraph: Kiddiewinks as young as eight leaping from roof-to-roof at the Leap Ahead Nursery

Maybe it’s the barbed wire that’s the attraction. Making the place look like a Tough Mudder course is dragging in a certain type of person.

You know – morons.

Lancashire Telegraph: Please fix our school, the pupils keep trying to escape

I tried to think of something funny to go with this, but that’s the actual story, and we can’t improve on it.

I suggest a watch tower and – perhaps – the Princess Diana memorial mine field.

Bournemouth Echo: Teachers upset because school’s internet filter lets through melon-farming, cork-sucking swear words

That’s an embuggerance.

Is there nowhere safe for our feral kiddiewinks?