One of the pleasures of writing a book about APILN is stumbling across classics like this in our archives of fury.

This is the story of Kylie, who had a nasty surprise when picking up a takeaway dinner for the kiddiewinks at a Hungry Jack’s down under.

It turns out that Hungry Jack is only hungry for one thing: CRUDELY DRAWN PENSISES

Toowoomba Chronicle: Mum steaming after finding crudely drawn cock in her burger box

Worth noting that she is SO steaming that she couldn’t bring herself to eat the burger, in case it has picked up cock germs.

And we’re also pleased to report that the rogue speednob is an art form that will not go away.

Why, the other week, in my home town, this happened:

Fleet News and Mail: Neon green penis appears in the car park behind Sainsbury’s

After Brexit, we won’t be able to afford neon green paint, so this Wanksy should be preserved for the ages.