To Scotland again, and the ritual humiliation of a beagle who cannot go to the toilet properly because of a fizzy-drink based incident.

Irn Bru is not generally known for its explosive properties, but it was the closely guarded Scottish recipe that nearly did for Parker the dog.

And as you can see, he’s really enjoying his moment in the spotlight.

Aberdeen Evening Express: Pet dog left in a state of shock after can of Scotland’s second favourite drink explodes

We’ll let Mr Kane and the Express pick up the story:

“I’ve been drinking Irn Bru for years and nothing like this has ever happened before. You don’t expect your fridge to blow up.”

“I was confused as to what it could have been so I came into the room and saw Parker there in shock. Things were coming out of him at both ends.”

The Irn Bru people are onto it, as the last thing they want is a similar thing to happen to kiddiewinks.

Also onto it is the Scottish government, who are on the lookout for a Trident replacement in the years immediately following Scottish independence, and some sort of Buckfast/Irn Bru combined missile system fits the bill perfectly.

More tinny-based disaster:

Chronicle Live: Couple positively fuming to find the ten cans of Fosters they’ve been storing in their garage are empty

You know, that would be the kind of thing you’d notice when you buy them, which means the Amber Nectar must somehow escaped on its own.

There be dark Aussie forces at play on the streets of Newcastle.