There are times when you don’t want to read the story, because the headline is all you need to give you a perfect picture of events.

This is one of those stories.

But if you really must:

Edinburgh Evening News: Court hears how a member of Alex Salmond’s house band “shared drugs with a singer before attacking him during a drink and cocaine-fuelled rampage as a birthday party gig descended into violence”

We could go on, and now that we’re here:

“Munro smashed up a flat and said he was run over by a guest on an electric wheelchair and hit twice on the head with a bottle of Jack Daniels during Mr McLennan’s 18th birthday party.

“He trashed a guitar, punched holes in a door and kicked plant pots as he brawled with a number of guests. He was eventually led away from the party and accompanied home by an armed friend wearing night vision goggles.”

And finally:

Fiscal depute Tina Dickie asked Munro if he had caused “pandemonium and hysteria” at the party and he admitted: “Yes.”

But the real reason we’re posting this story is that former SNP leader Alex Salmond gets a mention, which means we’ve got the flimsiest excuse to post this, the creepiest election campaign photo ever taken.

Kids: When a strange man in a suit comes up to you offering a bite from his Solero – JUST SAY NO.

That’s straight from our “any excuse” collection that includes Kim Jong-un looking at lube. This one, in fact.

Kids: When a strange man in a suit comes up to you offering a go on his lube machine. JUST SAY NO.