Look no further. Here’s the most midlife crisis news story you will ever see.

It has everything.

Bins.

Bloody huge motorbike.

Specially constructed decking.

And – of course – epic sadface.

Bath Chronicle: Biker says he’s been ‘forced’ to keep his new wheelie bin on the decking he built specially for his Harley Davidson motorbike

Yes, the ancient city of Bath is finally entering the 21st Century and is getting wheelie bins, but the residents there fear change and/or minor inconvenience to their lives.

OK, granted, this midlife crisis is going on a bit long (he’s 72), but you can’t help thinking he’s challenging Great British Bake Off’s Paul Hollywood in this photo.

“Are you pleased to see me or its that a three tier wedding cake down your trousers?”

And elderly Paul Hollywood isn’t the only celebrity lookalike biker to appear on these pages, Take a look at this from Down Under.

Sunshine Coast Daily: Biker FUMMIN after near miss with lorry on roundabout

Strewth! That’s no biker! It’s only blummin’ Kylie!

And also…

Beds on Sunday: Former celebrity MP Lembit Opik fears for biker safety on new roundabout

He’s got a cheek(y girl)

Touch my bum, as they say, this is life.

And here’s a story that isn’t about celebrities, but features a bloke sticking up two middle fingers (which could be directed at Lembit Opik if you imagine really hard):

Melbourne Age: Biker gangs muscle in on local car wash businesses

But if they’re using car washes to launder money, won’t it get all soggy? They didn’t think it through, clearly.