If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuits, join our club.

Unless you are the scumbags that stole biscuits from this charity, because they are going to CLUB you to death, force you through a strainer, and feed you to rats.

And then the rats will be clubbed to death, and the cycle will continue forever.

Grimsby Telegraph: Thieves ransack charity headquarters, steal a packet of Club biscuits

How grim is it in Grimsby that thieves will break into a charity to get their scabby mitts on a packet of Clubs?

This grim:

 

Now bring the biscuits back, apologise, and we’ll forget this ever happened.