This one is truly glorious, and chronicles one man’s ham-fisted attempt to cash in on a bike theft, and one woman’s l33t crime-fighting skills when the police couldn’t even pretend to be interested.

But – you know – if you try to sell your ill-gotten gains through online tat market Facebook Marketplace immediately after stealing it, you’re going to be found out very quickly.

Bristol Post: Bike theft victim steals her bike back from the man who was selling it through online tat market Facebook marketplace just ninety minutes after it was stolen in the first place

Honourable mention to Jenni for having the front to get on her bike for a “test ride” and bugger off with it double-quick.

Dishonourable mention to the Old Bill for having nothing to do with it.

And it really is worth clicking through for the ensuing online conversations with the seller who was feeling pretty down over the £95 he wasn’t going to get. What a maroon.

On the bright side, at least it wasn’t thrown into a skip…

Beds on Sunday: Bloke takes his bike to Halfords for repair, they throw it in the skip

Still, the lock, lights and accessories they gave him as compensation will look great ON THE BIKE HE HASN’T GOT.

Don’t talk to me about Halfords…