In which simple-minded country folk mistake a large stick for a long-extinct dinosaur species.

We won’t lie to you, it’s a stick.

A very dinosaur-like stick from some angles, but a stick nonetheless.

Daily Record: Memo to the people of Stirlingshire – this is a stick

I know my classics (Jurassic Park, Jurassic Park II, Jurassic Park III, Jurassic Park Directors Cut with Extra Dinosaurs) – so you can see where they’re coming from on the whole dinosaur angle.

Yet a stick it remains.

Funnily enough, those technical wizards at Hollywood actually used bits of dead tree to play the dinosaurs in some Jurassic Park scenes, so this could be a discard prop*.

And also real dinosaurs.

But back to your everyday lunacy – the Stirlingshire Velociraptor could conceivably be a friend of the Hedge End Tiger, God rest his soul, from that time there wasn’t a tiger on the lose in Hedge End.

Southern Daily Echo: Police scramble helicopter and armed response team after white tiger spotted in Hedge End

RIP HEGDE END TIGGER 4 EVA IN R HARTS XXX

*It’s not. It’s a stick.